Merry Christmas, You're Regular!

This Christmas was absolutely insane. It totally snuck up on me. It's like before I knew it, Christmas had came and gone and I barely had time to regain my balance as I saw it floating away.

Christmas always sneaks up on me in the US, but in China it's way worse. We work before and after Christmas (No Christmas break, just a break for Spring Festival in January and February) so Christmas just feels less. . . real.  Chinese people treat Christmas like Valentine's Day. It's a romantic holiday that they don't really know how to celebrate. They literally run around downtown with masks on. It's great.

Anyway, this year we totally rocked Christmas Eve with a Mexican Feast. Our friends all came together bringing tidings of salsa and tamales. Earlier that week, Eric and I received a package from his dad with refried beans and taco seasoning in it (wahoo!). Some of our friends made tamales (a traditional Mexican dish steamed in cornhusks) in a tofu skin, a queso dip, and three different kinds of salsa. We were out of control. In the US, I can easily pound 4 tacos, but in China I could barely finish two. We were stuffed out of our minds. It's so crazy to me how my body has adjusted to Chinese dieting. Western food makes me feel like I'm going to burst!

Christmas day we spent with some friends from all over the globe. Some of our British friends hosted a potluck lunch, which was awesome. We had stuffing, pasta salad, spaghetti sauce, homemade bread, muld wine (A British custom), brownies, cheesecake, and much more. This year I was honestly more excited about the food than I was about any gifts. I seriously get giddy when I know I'm about to eat food from home. It's the most comforting thing in China. I love it.

The best part of it all, is that my bathroom times were the most enjoyable I've had in five months. Now we all know the stanky result of Mexican food (particularly beans) that occurs a few hours after consumption. We definitely suffered from some very smelly gas, but the loveliest part is that our business was regular. With Chinese food, you get smelly gas and then diarrhea (sometimes burning hot diarrhea). It sucks.

Eating so much western food the past few days got me regular again, and I couldn't be more grateful. Over here it's the little things that count, people! I'm enjoying my last few regular visits and preparing for whatever is next in my crazy Chinese bathroom adventures.

Hope you all had a wonderful holiday! May you be ever joyful during your bathroom adventures!

Rice or Noodles?

The first thing that most Chinese people will ask you if you're a white person in China, is "Can you use chopsticks?"

The second thing that most Chinese people will ask is, "Do you like rice or noodles?"

China is split in two. The northern part of China are committed to noodes. We are in northern China so we live in noodle country, which suits me just fine. I love me a good bowl of noodles. The southern part of China are all about rice--with dishes of course. (When Chinese people say "rice", they are also referring to the vegetable and meat dishes that you would eat with rice)

I've noticed my bowel responses are different to noodles than to rice. The product I get after digestion disturbingly matches my previous meal.  My noodle business is surprisingly noodle-like and my rice business is definitely, well, rice like. It's SO weird.

So it makes me wonder then, do Chinese people pick according to the taste of the meal or the type of business they prefer??? I know it's a little crazy, but poop time is a very important time of the day. If you're not getting the results you want, don't you make adjustments to what you eat?? Maybe the northerner's dig the long, string-like satisfaction from noodles and maybe the southerner's like the chunky, loose stuff from rice. I mean, I don't know, I'm just sayin. . . .