Epic Showdown: Malay Food vs. My Stomach

Our trip to Malaysia was amazing. It's a beautiful country. The people are so laid back and friendly, a very nice change from China. The weather was very hot but not unbearable. The beaches were breath-taking and the tropical wildlife was so awesome. The food on the other hand. . . was a strange mix of bad Chinese and bad Indian. We ate mostly fried rice or fried noodles almost the entire trip. And a prawn chip here and there.

My bowels really hated the food. I mean it didn't taste great but I could get it down. My stomach absolutely did not approve of what it was receiving. I had wicked (not the cool meaning of "wicked") diarrhea the entire trip.

So over here in Asia, we classify diarrhea. The main two categories are: Everyday Normal Diarrhea or Crampy Diarrhea (usually food poisoning). Within these categories you can have burning hot, pee-out-your-butt, not-completely-digested, right-through-me, never ending, or accidental-ingestion-of-bad-water diarrhea. I am at the point in my travels where I can usually peg exactly what I ate which led to these results.

In China, we usually experience Everyday Normal, right through me, and an occasional burning hot diarrhea. In Malaysia though, man. I was enduring Crampy, not-completely-digested, accidental-ingestion-of-bad-water diarrhea. It was horrible. I've never been so frequently sick in my life. I don't know what the heck they put in their food, but it did NOT like me. The worst part was, no one else was sick. I was the ONLY one. It's like fried rice had it out for me or something. Not cool.

There it is. A plate of pure evil.

The good news is I lost a lot of weight in Malaysia. At first I thought I had a tapeworm. I was always hungry (and eating) and I was losing weight without exercise. Then I realized I've just been pooping an abnormal amount everyday. (Don't worry! I don't have a tapeworm and I'm gaining the weight back)


I was sad to leave Malaysia, but my stomach couldn't take much more of it. I'm embarrassed to say this, but the Malay Food totally won the showdown. It kicked my butt on it's way out. I'm happy to be back to my Everyday Normal Diarrhea and dreaming of the days before I ever knew this much about loose stools. Those were the good days.